Merry Christrmas

Sorry folks I haven't posted in awhile so I'm gonna wrap a bunch of stuff together.

Christmas depresses me.

The Boyz spend Christmas at their mothers' house. I think kids need a tradition so I guess that is OK but still I get sad. I don't want to go to my parents house, cause that is an old tradition and I think I need to move on not go backwards. Primo (the son that lives with me)is home from college. He is not goin back didn't like the school or location (Honolulu). The drugs (ice/meth mostly) , violence and prejudice shocked him. I told him any large city is like that. Next day we had a very heated discussion that culminated with a hole in my wall. Merry Christmas.

Get a Job

The subject matter of the fight/discussion was how nobody here (his immediate family)has their shit together including me. Which pissed me off but maybe he is correct? I left a good job 4 months ago and not really been doing much of anything since. Alright there was 3 weeks in the USVI. True, I needed a break, that job was killing me. Honestly I don't want to go back to building design engineering/consulting. I did it for over 20 years, but I'm not really moving to anything else. I got a bit of cash to hang till Jan/Feb., Why should I rush to get back into that rat race??? Just to add to the tension my Dad told me to get a job. Kind of funny, the first time in forty plus years he said that. He also said "don't start a business I've known to many ppl that have lost everything by starting a business" arrrgh I was respectful, it was Thanksgiving, and changed the subject.

WVO-Anchorage Bio-Diesel Coop

I did send out letters to all of the burger joints in Anchorage. Including fried chicken/catfish joints and donut shops80 letters in all. with a cooking oil survey card. please please I hope I get a good return on the survey cards. I am approaching this with a new philosophy. I'm not doing the capitalist money thing. I just want to make diesel fuel out of waste vegetable cooking oil and develop a net work of similar minded folks in Anchorage.

Why I shave my head

In various circles, I have given several reasons for the current bald "look" I exhibit these days. 1. Michael Jordan has retired so I need to carry on in his image. 2. In my family, we have the island hair loss pattern. The hairline recedes in the corners leaving a small "isle of hair" in the middle of your head. Last Christmas my younger brother (by seven years) had achieved the full island effect. Boy, did I give him shit. To avoid any future retaliation from brother I just shaved it all off.

Those being great bullshit reasons, I must come clean with the real story. I used to cut my own hair. It was easy I had a pair of clippers and I would just put the plastic guide on and cut my hair. Kind of like mowing the lawn, adjust the wheel height and go. Well, the clippers were fairly inexpensive (cheap) from Sears. And after about 6 or 7 years they where starting to get dull. Dull clippers with kinky hair sucks. Yes, I have real tight kinky hair. Not the type that makes great "fros" the real tight stuff that u just cut short and forget about it. Anyway, the clippers started to do more snagging and pulling than cutting. Well in typical G-Daddy fashion, I started pricing a new pair of clippers. Sears didn't sell them anymore maybe mail order but I didn't check. (hmmm internet that is an idea) Checked K-mart, Wal-Mart, and Freddie’s they had them but nothing really struck me. Yeah I know, …what about clippers ever strikes anybody? Whatever I didn’t, buy any.

So the next time I start cutting my hair the bastards start pulling like crazy and I get fed up. Being the engineer, I figure I have a good diamond stone to sharpen my camping knife, soooo I'll sharpen my clippers. Engineers can logically justify taking anything apart. So, with the clippers now apart G-Daddy sharpens the blades. During the process of sharpening the blades, the plastic height adjustment guide drops to the floor and is stepped on by somebody? It kind of breaks. But if you hold it just right, with index and fore fingers on one side and with the thumb on the other side you can hold the guide while the clippers are cradled in the crook between the thumb and index finger. Easy. OK so I reassemble the clippers, and proceeded to cut hair. The sharpening was in concept only, bastards still pulled and snagged my hair. Somehow, during a most severe snag, my index finger slips causing a slight fluctuation of the pressure required to hold the plastic guide in place.

Well needless to say the guide pressure fluctuation causes major guide misalignment (the guide falls to the floor) that exposes the clipper cutting edge. Operator overcompensation for the encountered snag resistance brings the exposed clippers dangerously close to the operator's scalp. Yes the result is a 20-25 square mm bare patch. So now its like 11:30pm and I have two options go to Wal-Mart or shave it all off. I shave it all off. Refer to reasons 1 and 2 above. Of course, this has led to several interesting observations;

• Hot showers on a bald head feel great ...woo hoo!!
• Some women love it others hate it. I guess those cancel each other out.
• For the first time in my life my mom and dad have said, "Let your hair grow back!"
• Watch out for eyebrows when shaving your head in the shower. (Eyebrows grow back in about 3 weeks).
• The scalp stubble has a velcro effect when pulling shirts over head so go with the grain

Findings of Facts

Woo Hoo I’m back home.

Note the temperature is 15 degrees F. outside and snow is on the ground. I did some soul searching while in the USVI. Actually, more like "Findings of Facts" I just sorted out what I like and what I want. U’ll notice that the "Conclusions of Law" are not formulated yet. In keeping with the litigious metaphors, I’m still formulating the final opinions for the court.

I want to do something else.
I have gotten some static from my peers and friends regarding this so-called "mid-life crisis. Well it isn’t a crisis. Dudes and dudettes I am not working 30 years doing the same crap, as a consulting engineer, for the same firm. The year isn’t 1905, it is 2005, nobody should be expected do the same thing for 30 years anymore. I can’t abandon engineering completely I need the money but, due to my non-compete clause I’m exiled from engineering in Alaska for the next two years. I pity the fool that exiles me from my hometown. Duh does the Count of Monte Cristo ring a bell.

I’m out of money by January.
Jesus this sucks soooooo bad. Arrrrgggg I fucking hate jobs. Meaning that I’m going to have to get a real job by January. In order to obtain said job by January; I need to start looking now! Double yuk, it has been over 10 years since I looked for a job. I’m gonna fight this one until the last cent on my debit card, because this may mean I have to move to WA, OR, or the dreaded CA. I need to do something in Alaska that pays royalties; paint, write, invent, music. Yes I’m still attempting the watercolors, in fact I hand painted post cards from the USVI. God, please bless me with some artistic/creative talent. Was that a prayer? Did you see "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers" movie were he had to go back to Blake Edwards and make one last Pink Panther movie cause he was out of money? It is just like that for me.

I want to get a Volkswagen Jetta/Golf TDI and make bio-diesel.
(Road trip, I bet there is a rusty TDI or two in the wreckage of Katrina.). Well the plan is to start a business and refine bio-fuel from WVO. I don’t believe there is enough waste vegetable oil in Anchorage to make a living out of it. So, I’m working on a "green co-op" if you will. Hopefully, there are a few folks locally interested enough to make fuel for ourselves. Then expand into a small-scale ethanol plant (distillery)in Delta Junction, AK. There is a small barley growing area in Delta that does OK if they can keep the buffalo out of it. This won’t happen by 1/1/2006 lol. Also there is a scotch distilling potential here (malted barely and peat). One must always acknowledge the fun/entertainment factor of any new adventure. Perhaps I should go scotch first, then ethanol fuel second.

I like living near the ocean and I want an ocean going boat, 30-40 footer, with twin diesel engines and a cabin that sleeps four.
The ocean dampens the temperature swings and the air just smells better. Basically if 60 percent of the planet is water, we should all have boats not cars. I like fresh fish, crab, shrimp, clams, hell most types of seaweed ya get at sushi and Korean restaurants. Seafood is good and the oceans are life. I wish we, mankind, would stop destroying the oceans. North American west coast boat locations; Prince William Sound, Southeast Alaska, British Columbia (inside Victoria Island), and Puget Sound. The southern tip of Chile, OMG boat heaven.

I want to keep my house in Anchorage, Alaska.
Note, that I am not saying I want to live the rest of my days in Anchorage. I just want a home base to come home to. In reality, I just have too much crap to put elsewhere and don’t want to move it somewhere else. I think I can make a little cash during the tourist season provided I fix all of the minor wear and tear up. I can’t take the thought of a long-term renter. I’m to old and set in my ways for the roommate action but a short-term tourist maybe just the ticket and the money is an order of magnitude greater. Hmmm this calls for a second home, now we’re talking.

Whine Whine Whine. I know compared to ppl in Pakistan, and other troubled places in the world this is all petty. I am OK health wise and have a lot to be thankful for. However/whatever, these are my shallow thoughts of the day for your reading pleasure and comments.

USVI

My second night in the USVI, I am sitting in the living room with Eric. Sara Jane is at work. Eric says, “Greg did you see that spider? Help me catch it.” I look to my left and get a glimpse of a huge spider, at eye level, less than 24” away, and racing across the wall. It darts into the corner behind the TV stand. OK, huge is an understatement. The body is a bit larger than the size of a Susan B Anthony and the legs are about twice as long as the body’s diameter. Yes folks, that is correct, it has about a 4 inch wingspan. So, as I’m processing the size and speed of this devil Eric offers, “Be careful cause these guys can really jump? I don’t know how they get in. It must be through the windows”

In order to have the full picture you need to know that both Sara Jane and Eric are vegan/PETA folks. I’m thinking I need to arm myself with a shoe, newspaper, handgun, or whatever. I NEED A WEAPON. Eric on the other hand plans to do battle with a mere plastic Tupperware bowl and matching lid. He is entering this fatal confrontation with the prevailing thought, THE SPIDER SHALL NOT BE HARMED.

OK, back to the action. The TV stand is in the corner with the killer spider ready to attack behind it. I’m on the right of the stand, Eric is on the left. He is armed (relatively speaking). I’m the weaponless military adviser if you will. The spider makes the first move and dashes across the wall, towards me!! I make a strategic fall back yelling, “There it is!” thus fulfilling my observer roll. Then the beast jumps at least three feet directly towards me and lands on one of Erik’s large house plants. Note, Eric is Mr. green thumb with plants all over the place inside and out. Dude is amazing, he deftly sandwiches the killer inside the plastic bowl and lid. We apply duct tape as a security precaution just in case, hop in the truck, and release the POW about a ½ mile from the house.

Some final comments:

• The three weeks I’ve been here and I have helped Eric catch and release two rats in this same fashion. We had to up size our weaponry to a large box but the strategy was the same. Rats were easy, the spider showed no fear.
• The dog has been no help on any of these spider/rat campaigns.
• I need to do laundry but, there is a big ass scorpion hanging out in the dirty closes pile. hmmm these shorts are good for another day.

USVI

Monday night was beautiful.

I’m a night person and it just worked for me. The place I’m staying at is on a hill side about 810 feet above seawater. The house elevation is high enough to enjoy a stiff trade wind breeze from the east most times. The upper level deck presents an awesome panoramic view that faces south. Havensight (the cruise ship pier), Charlotte Amalie (town) and Frenchtown, are to the left. Submarine Bay, the airport and the St. Thomas campus of the VI University are to the right. The house is pretty much directly above the freighter/container ship docks, looking directly toward the east end of Water Island.

Monday night the moon was full and the view was a mosaic of white, black and grey hues. The sky was punctuated with scattered saturated puffy cumulous and cumulonimbus clouds. The silvery moonlight was shooting the gaps into the ocean giving the water surface a mercury like appearance. Off to the south I witnessed a huge thunderhead swelling and billowing just like the ones I saw when I was a kid living in Kansas. There were thunderheads to the south, east an d west with each storm contributing awesome, periodic, lighting flashes to the night sky. Each flash was like a directional color amplifier shifting the grey tones, in the effected area, up an entire octave or two. You have to imagine the massive dark grey ghostly shadows that the clouds cast on the moonlit water. Funny thing, the extremes, the black of the land and the white of the moon held fast.

The final part of this picture was the manmade white and orange tinged glows from the sodium vapor and metal halide lights. The lights dot the land and the sea marking buildings, roads, docks and boats. Just like dots on a map that mark cities and townships of the US eastern seaboard. The lights paralleled the shoreline with densities that varied with the pockets of commerce. Off in the distance there was a cruise ship lit up just like a section of town or one of the large hotels on shore.

Again it was a truly beautiful night

USVI

Well I’ve done it.

Achieved slugdom, reached the lethargic pinnacle of my slacker existence on St Thomas. This morning I was up at 7:30 but the sun came out and I needed to go back and nap. That made the final real up and start time the day more like 10:30. I have been “trying” to accomplish ONE thing a day. I guess this has given me time to reflex on a few things. First, St Thomas and the Caribbean in general….. Oh sure the weather is tropical but the history just ruins the vibes here for me. For locals, you have continentals “whites” and west indies “blacks”. Pigment social separation is still strong here. Then you have tourist. The economy is 100% tourism, on St Thomas. In my mind the island is a North American play ground. See Bahamas. In fact those are my entire Caribbean thoughts as well and you can include the Dutch, British and French as well. No slavery, plantations, however there is no work except the service of the tourist. Oh yeah there is also self governance. That is full of corruption and nepotism so I hear. Sure other Islands have oil and big industry (Trinadad) and some still grow sugars cane and make rum. Note in Trinidad sugar cane is heavily subsidized to give the locals employment. All of the things to do that you can read about are for the continentals and the tourist. You would think being from Alaska, I would be used to high tourist density. Honestly at home we avoid the tourist places.

USVI

Hey all

Finally got to a puter. At some lame ass tourist e-mail/trap. anyway. The weather has been great. I have painted a few post cards. I have had time to read a couple of books. Some Herman Wouk book about the VI and can you believe it "Lost Horizons"Place is great. I have a couple of post on my laptop that I'll transfer in time. My friends Sara and Eric don't have a puter? imagine that???

USVI

No internet at Eric and Sara Jane’s so I’ll date when these are written not when they are posted.

Stardate Saturday: 10082005 ha ha what a geek (I crack myself up)

Well folks I can safely say the VI is pretty much still United States, but different. Must also say being from Alaska the weather is awesome, bummer didn’t get the snow tires mounted before I left. Sara and Eric rent a nice three bedroom place on the hills above town. The joint is high enough to get the “trades” they blow though the house and keep the place pretty comfortable. From their place you have a great view of the harbor; tour ship dock, all of the sailboats and the airport. I love a view with motion. Just add rum and your in the Caribbean. They swear it was miserable in Sept but I have yet to see any days w/o wind. Honestly, I’m not the beach/snorkel person and hanging at the house with the fragrant breeze is nuff fo me. I actually read a book here!… hell it has been a awhile for that one. Really there is no reason to head downtown if your up on the hill, the breeze is way better than at a sunny beach (tan is one thing I don’t need). So, I’ve had a little bit of time to think also, but honestly I have gotten to any conclusion with respect to what I’m doing next. I’m a little tempted to look around the island for engineering work but that is a long shot, not a lot of need for heating system designers. I found five engineering firms in the phone book and my stomach started to cringe. I’m not going back, no ain’t no turning back. I just don’t think this a place I could work a regular job. There is really only one industry here, Tourism. Well I did paint Segundo a post card. I hope to get a feel for the local ppl next.

TTFN from the VI

Alaska

This is why I love my home town. Today at 10:30pm, in Anchorage, at the busiest traffic intersection, in the state (Lake Otis and Tudor), a big ass bull moose J walked right through the intersection. It is rutting season and he was a total bad ass, full shovel rack easily 60"across (about 1.5 meters). He just strolled through, made all of the cars slow down and wait. Like that old joke with the old bull and the young bull. AWESOME

Some sorry sad lack of party action

I can't believe it. I told all of my friends in Seattle I'll be in town the last week of October. Passing thru on the rtn from the VI. I said lets have a Halloween party??? The overwhelming response was blah blah maybe dinner. Ouch, we all can't be that old?? Thinking of bagging the whole Seattle idea. It looks like two choices remain; either take a hop to San Diego and visit JP, or take the train to Vancouver BC with lil Bro. Dennis was up for it but he is down in Lacy/Olympia ans his place is pretty small. He is so fun, last time I was down there we got some dungy's and oysters and had a awesome party. It was pretty cool. Mal drove down from Seattle. Mal is leaving Seattle after 18 years? moving to LA yikes. making a bit of paper off of the "housing bubble"

Here is thought? Perhaps it takes a bit more than my black ass showing up for a party these days. Fuck that I'm Gumby dammit and I want to go to a off da hook Halloween party. Too Old to Rock: Too Young To Die. Appropriate JT album. note to self... need Aqualung, Songs from the Woods and Thick as a Brick for the CD Changer

Current Standings

You would think that after 3 weeks away from work I would have mellowed and relaxed. Yeah right. I have had time to reflect on things and it is funny but I keeping ending on the same question I've been struggling with for over 30 years. For you old DD players and religious type I'm a good person, perhaps chaotic at times. I don't lie, steal or cheat. I befriend folks in need and in general I'm helpful and would give away my last dollar. This isn't because I have any great belief in Heaven and all of that crap. I just find it makes me feel good to be a good person. The problem is to live in the US society you can't be that way. Hell I don't know maybe all of western culture is like this? In the US, capitalism is king. You need to hustle, scam and be a player. This it true from 8 ballers up to MBA's, it sucks. I know to be successful, in the US, that is the way it is. It just turns my stomach. Part of the reason I quit my job. If I have to be a cut throat asshole I need/must get more than monetary satisfaction out of it. I have the mental HP to do it I just don't have the constitution to do it and be happy. I remember realizing in the 4th grade that it is the way it is and crying about it. Being smart and perceptive has its own problems at a young age. Even still I fell into that get an education be a worker capitalism crap. Remember the wealthy needs workers, and the poor, to be rich. Because you can't have either one without the other. The above is old history and fact. I now there must be another way? WHAT IS IT?. That is the question and the search. I'm not going back, but I don't know where to go? The hunt is on. I think I know where to look. I don't think it is in the material/physical realm.

Enough, peace out

Party in Seattle

It is on.

I will be in the VI 10/5 thru 10/25. Sara and BF are kewl once again. 10/15 IS SARA'S BIRTHDAY - Party for sure. Then a week in Seattle. Basically a party in Seattle for Halloween. E-mailed Dennis, lil Bro, Cousin Ed. Need to find Malcat. Lil Bro has a Reggae band.

SHOUT IT, SHOUT IT, SHOUT IT OUT LOUD

I'm Free - In Pursuit of Royalties

I am getting there, was on the River with the old boss. Saturday was a gorgeous day but, no fish. Rode down to Soldotna with Dad on Friday and been sitting on my ass drinking beer chillin with da folks. Both mom and pops are in their 70’s. Mom cracked up wrt painting, royalties and water colors. “OK son you really never could draw so what is the next plan”. I still think I can make a play on abstract work if I paint w/o my glasses. Man I do get inspired. The sun on the Kenia River was soooo pretty with the dark green of the spruce trees, the deciduous tress are turning so there were pale greens and yellows also. In Alaska, at least in south central, very few of the tall trees leaves turn red or orange. We get those colors vividly but they occur low to the ground on the bushes and shrubs. See I did think about painting some of this he he. Next post – The TRIP?

Night out with da TOM SISTERS

I wanna live with a cinnamon girl.... I could be happy, the rest of my live with a cinnamon girl.

Went out with three ofthe Tom sister's last Thursday. It was a blast just to watch the family dynamics and petty competition. I had such a ball. They are AK natives,Yupik eskimos from the northwest villiage of Stebbins. All are thin and attractive. OK not your western TV norm model typebutvery exotic good looking. NOT Strack sisters from Manley, AK goregous but still pretty hot women. Note to self - Never ever take all three out at the same time again. (repeat that three times)

I have known Janice for years and we're good friends, met little sisters Ann and the oldest sister Dee about two years ago. Dee is awesome, my fav. fourth sister Jessica is prego and didn't hang with us. First went bowling with Dee & Ann, then we picked up Janice and their cousin. Hung out at a karokee bar and shot pool. NO G-Daddy don't sing karokee. It was an evening of good times.

Anyway as that dude Sendak would say,"Let the rumpus begin!!!" More fun to come! last day of work is Wednesday.

My Lil Corporate Chronicles

The end of this career is near....WoooHooo

Here is news.
Folks after almost twenty years (15 at the firm) I’m tired of HVAC design. It is no longer fun and quite frankly I’m getting fairly grouchy. Almost daily I suppress the urge to tell a client or two to “take a hike”. Yeah like that is really the language I’d use. I don’t have a plan, I don’t have a fortune stashed I just know it is time to leave before I kill myself. Anyway my last day at "the Firm" is Aug 31. I plan to have a party to celebrate sometime in September not sure when? But I’ll let everyone know.
Proceed fearlessly

It feels sooooo good. I can't believe I'm almost finished with the design career. It is so funny most of my friends get it. The remaining engineers (only 4) are deeply concerned. Charlie got me a job interview... my back promtly went out had to miss it. The body rejected the concept. Brad thinks I need a break and then perhaps oil industry work will suit me.....NOT. JP queried me about my plans and then conducted a verbal interrogation to determine my mental state...I pass as sane... ha, I still can pass it off. I'm sure my call to Fahad will be more of a JP type inquisition, but hey it takes a pencil geek to know one. The best quotes are as follows: Brooke, " you're not quiting your graduating" Jay," you quit first you win". I can't believe I agonized about the money I never got, it don't mean shit.

OK enquiring minds what to know what is the plan. Well I didn't want to make a list. I did it in secret (hell give me a break 25 years as an engineer, at leastI didn't graph it out or make it in MS Project with dates, deadlines, and milestones. In no particular order.

• Visit Mom and Dad...silvers in Sept on the Kenai
• Paint 30 water colors
• Build house/Construction Co, w/Segondo
• Rent rooms in duplex (450/month each?)
• Go on a trip- JP in San Diego/SaraJane in St. Thomas/Vancouver
• Party in September most likely in Soldotna @ Mom and Dads

My Lil Corporate Chronicles

Last day of work will be 9/1/05.

Amazing enough the dumb fucks keep piling on the work. Later days dudes. OK had meetings with the CEO and the President. sounds really big but hell it is only an 80 man engr firm. The CEO was cool the President kinda pissed me off. "Uh well G I'm worried about U. You know your entire deferred compensation allocation becomes taxable as soon as you leave the company" Yada yada I just don't think he is talking in my best interest. The IRS has changed things???? His solution is for me to take a leave of absence until the first of the year then offer my letter of resignation to the Board. That way the deferred compensation isn't taxable next fiscal year. The problem with that solution is, that it delays my noncompete clause for another 4 months. meaning I can't do any engineering work in Alaska until 1/1/08. He's pretty slick .I just can't help but think the company will have to pay me the goods if I'm taxable. At the least by back the 850 shares of stock I own when I leave or deal with me.

The real bull shit is now I need to see a CPA and/or a damn lawyer. I just want to quit this FUCKING JOB. SHIT why the fuck is that so hard. I swear if the bastards screw me outta my deferred compensation I'll shut the mutha fuckers down. Steal clients, steal staff, I'll take over their lame limited market share. On a lighter note the rumours are on the street...Out of the blue I got a cold call for a job interview tomorrow. wooo hooo. I pays to be fuckin good at what you do and to be a homeboy in your hometown.

P.S. I get to keep the laptop. addiction satisfied.

My Lil Corporate Chronicles

Woo Hooo!! I did it!! I did it!!

Principal #1 and Principal#2
After several months of contemplation, I have come to the conclusion that my future direction and that of the company's are divergent and it is time for me to depart. It is time for a change. It has been a great 15 years plus with the company and I have no regrets and some sorrow to be departing. However, I also look forward to new challenges outside of, or if possible, beyond those of consulting engineering.

My last day at the company will be September 1st 2005, of course I can stay longer if need be but it is a good date because almost all of my projects will be near completion or ending the design phase and starting the CA phase. I'll follow up with a list of my current projects and my recommendations on whom should continue as lead/PM.

Sincerely
G-Daddy

Fishing

YES summer is here. Was fishing on PWS out of Whittier last week for halibut, the weather was awesome. Going fishing with da boss for halibut and king's today at 6:00am out of Seward. Yup you got it, I'm playing hooky with da boss. wooo hooo yes I live in Alaska and "sometimes you just might find....You get what you need!!!" ahhh yes.

P.S. Silvers in August

My Lil Corporate Chronicles

Come in hear dear boy have a cigar you're gonna go far, fly high, never gonna die, U'll make if if U try, their're gonna love you....they call it riding the gravy trainnnnn.

70 degrees outside, on porch Pepperwood Pinot Noir 9 bucks a bottle at Carrs. No I didn't take the money and run. In fact I got a mid year bonus and got voted on to the Company board of directors. I had major some party action night b4 the mtg, and nodded throughout the entire meeting. Talk about lame???

Thinking of resigning from the FIRM. The job has become no fun. I need to leave before I self destruct. That is the way I work. If I don't have challenges that I want to pursue I sabotage myself, I need to exit before I self destruct. Even more important I need to find something to keep me busy so I won't self destruct. Thinking about going to visit my friend Sara Jane in the Virgin Islands. The ex always said I was an emotional island to myself. This weekend was one of those times I have to admit that a partner to hold up the fort while I lick my wounds would have been nice to hold on to. Regardless tomorrow is Monday. I'll strap on my armor and proceed fearlessly. "caught between the longing for love and the struggle for the legal tender"

What bull shit, I want my own company. I want to kick ass and take names. I want a building that is part of the Anchorage skyline. The conclusion is PDC won't get me there so G-Daddy is outta there. I'll keep you posted my friends but the time is either act now or wither and die.

I AIN'T ABOUT DYING AT THIS FUCKING TIME. G-Daddy is OUT!!

General Ketchup Post

Holy mackerel it has been a long time.

G-Daddy was playing way to much. Good thing the kid is home from school now I have to clean-up my act. He arrived just in time. I didn't know how much I lived for them until I realized that with sons at 17 and 19 that purpose for life is almost gone. It is sooooo easy to stray back to street bullshit. The punkster pulled a 3.8 gpa and landed a job came home Friday, was working on Monday. Proud dad puffed out chest here.

1. I tried to rent the spare room out that was a mistake. It always is, she was a user and wanted to pay in dope. Threw out dope user b4 son arrived home.
2. LaRhinda is gone also, she moved to Colorado. That was crazy she missed first flight had to stay extra days until she was able to leave. Still friends but in this case distance is a good thing we corrupt each other. Watched her spike once--pathetic and scary--double yuk, it was very sad sad sad.
3. Need to get all bills paid, behind but recoverable, again playing, to much fun. I really need to deal with this midlife crisis crapola.

Ta da corporate chronicles is the next post. Ya'll please respond let me know U are still out there. Final note it is summer here, for some reason the hornets keep flying in the house? What is up with that?

Thanks all

My Lil Corporate Chronicles

Update - I'm at the restaurant up the street from my house. It has wifi so I can browse, chat, blog, whatever. All is the same I still hate the job. I've been bleeding into the bonus money so buying more company shares isn't and option. I know the way I work. basically I never really wanted to buy more shares, so I subconsciously spent the money. I'm going to start a new thread, on my new vocation/job search. I just think a continued focus and blog entries just restraint me and focus energy on something I want out of. Yeh I'll keep ya'll posted on a few fiery e-mails and spats. but just the really crazy stuff. OK short history session. G-Daddy is down on work, in the past I've made efforts to leave. Boss offers crazy "perf bonus" and I stay. Mark my words this time it is going to be. "take the money and run,.. go on take the money and run"

Other Stuff as I Promised

Well the first thought is I have very little life to write about outside of work, my sons and LaRhinda. In addition to that LaRhinda isn't a sexual relationship just a friendship with some wild adventuresome circumstances. Crazy man crazy.

Good news is Primo, #1 son, is still in the dorms. Has no money, his loving father just sent him nine pickles (OK dudes and dudettes where did that come from lol) Need to send him some Gonzo Hunter books in a care package. I hated and loved care packages from my mom in college. There was always cool stuff and them some really wack shit.

Segondo, #2 son, and I are working on the little Suzuki Sidekick for his wheels. Need to get the registration current and sign it over to him. He is caught in the classic need a car for a job -vs- need a a job for car. catch 22. He is trying to earn money for a school trip to Costa Rica. I wish I could speak another language...I'm so American my English even sucks.

What else. I saw Sideways the movie. It was great!!!! A classic buddy/adventure movie. Sandra Ho was great. Part where Paul GIamatti tell about his love of the Pinot Noir grape and the lady talks about her passion for wine is awesome. Chronicles and LaRhinda update to follow.

Later folks

My Lil Corporate Chronicles

OK I need a life this is the last chronicle entry for a while. Same with the LaRhinda action I have other shit going on to blog about. (I think?) G-Daddy drops the hammer on a lowly draftsman.

From: G-Daddy Sent: Tuesday, February 15, 2005 11:17 AM
To: D. Draftsman
Subject: FW: notes on ANBC Drawings

Dick Draftsman
It is a production department task to fix things like this. This is an engineering firm and the role of administration, production, accounting, and marketing are all functions to support the business of engineering design. The number #1 task of production is to assist engineering with the task of drawing. You should and need to let the engineers know of a problem but you should also correct the errors whenever you see them. The role of good draftsman is equivalent of a nurse to a surgeon, or a paralegal to a lawyer. Engineers want a GOOD draftsman to fix and complete their drawings. Example, H for the Structural and Civil department, they don’t let anyone else touch their work because they all love H's work. We don’t want draftsmen that don’t comprehend or look at what they draw. We don’t need people in the production department that don’t show any initiative to fix errors. If you see something that doesn’t look correct but are not sure notify the engineer. If you are sure it is incorrect, fix the error and let the engineer know what you did. Simply stated, don’t tell engineers to fix drawings, it is YOUR job to fix the drawings and make sure the graphic presentation is correct, clear, and concise.

My Lil Corporate Chronicles

That is it! I don't want to manage ppl. I'll manage a project. I'll deal with clients, but dealing with the dysfunctional folks at my office is bogus. I know, I have am apiece of the problem myself but still I hate it (today anyway). There is a level of dysfunctionality in almost every department except Civil and Strut. We should use the reorganization to get rid of all of the deadwood. We need to purge the incompetent and complacent folks and just keep the willing workers. I doubt there would be any big losses in the office productivity, in fact their might be a gain. Historically it takes us a real long time to fire someone.

Subject More Random Stuff

Holy cow! Mom will be 70yo on the 16th. Talk about sobering. Boy m getting up there also. G-Daddy wears bi-focals nanny nanny boo boo. It is fucking cold out. Y do I live in Anchorage? Seriously it is -10 and the wind is coming off of the inlet. BUTT Cold. The Jeep has no headbolt heater (ya stupid) so I start it at midnight before I go to bed. (thank god for large V-8s) the Suzuki has not started in literally months. I have a cold no more need to be said bout that. The eldest (Primo) is in college so Im home alone. Segundo lives with the ex. That is crazy.

Talk about finished responsibilities man I've gone crazy. It is like being 18 again and not living at home. Pretty scary it was having kids that cleaned me up and I stopped all of that action. Meth now days is bogus, I don’t know if it is the whole pipe thing or what. Give me old fashion black beauties, back in the day, as my choice of speed. White crosses always cramped my tongue and my fingers twitched. I also think the high from good powder is equal to rock. The coke result is the same though the new man wants more coke (either rock or crack) just more. I'm just to cheap nowdays. Jesus we had good dealers when I was a kid. It is fun to play again though, explains the LaRhinda thing a bit?

Ya, the job still sucks. Sigh here is the deal. "to old to rock and roll yet to young to die

My Lil Corporate Chonicles

I have had it. Work sucks.

I was always afraid of the fact when the "founding" dudes left you would have a bunch of slackers (2nd generation Principals) just maintaining status quo to get their buy out funded by us associates. The remaining dickheads have no vision. I must exclude the COO at least he founded his practice before the corporate merger. That is just the shit we have. The Anch Off Bitch had the nerve to tell me that "fundamentally" the terms are the same, Quote, "The fundamental terms of the letter were the same as the ones you offered originally (except for the internet connection). The additional provisions were ones deemed important to identify the situation as temporary for medical purposes. We also wanted to make it clear the situation was established at the convenience of the company and we wanted to protect the company's equipment since it would essentially be out of our control. The letter was developed somewhat as a policy document since this time was our first. All parties agreed H was the ideal trustworthy individual to demonstrate this program. Should he express a desire to discuss it, I am sure we could come to some agreement. It was never the intent to impugn H's honesty or integrity." What FUCKING "softer" BULLSHIT.

Another "principal" told me that it isn't cool to have a jr engineer take a 1/2 lunch so she can leave early and take grad classes three days a week. What tha fuck??? isn't she a "professional" I told her I don't care as long as her work gets done. isn't that the point???. 1 hour lunch versus 1/2 lunch. get fucking real. punk ass MF. The deal is I don't mind the engineering but the middle management sucks. I honestly don't give a fuck anymore.

My Lil Corporate Chronicles

1. I GUESS I STILL HAVE A JOB. woo hoo?
2. This week at the job sucked. See e-mail below. I have to many dudes above me.
3. Add that to the fact that I had to go to FBKS on Thursday and it was -35 F. below zero. EQUALS HEAVY SUCKAGE

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: The COO (BOSS.1) to G- Daddy Saturday, January 15, 2005 11:39 AM For what it is worth, I was not part of this. My opinion and concerns are no different than what we talked about months ago. This company has some decision making and delegation problems. (da really?) In addition it was not right for them to send this letter out without out your comment. You are the one in charge of drafting, and were most involved in the negotiations.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: G-Daddy to the COO Friday, January 14, 2005 6:03 PM OK I’ve had a moment to relax. Now I’m ready to vent a bit. Not sure if you(BOSS.1) and BOSS .4 were part of this discussion at the principal level but it doesn’t appear to be. In addition, the statement, "soften the letter's tone" really is inaccurate. Knowing H, I doubt if he’ll sign this.

1. Originally I had written for PDC to pay for H’s internet connection, the soften letter requires “You are expected to obtain, maintain and pay for a high-speed internet connection for communication between your equipment and PDC’s.” It only cost 50 bucks a month??

2. Originally I wrote that H was to be 75-80 billable – soften version “It is expected work will be performed on directly billable projects only. No overhead time should be expended unless your supervisor specifically authorizes overhead work.”

3. The original statement was, “This Work at Home status arrangement has a six month trial period. At the end of six months the status will either be; extended on an annual basis, or terminated.” Again the much softer version, “There is no set term for this arrangement. Your status may be changed at any time” Perhaps I’m missing something but this isn’t any softer at all.

What really cheeses me is that for almost two months I’ve communicated that PDC would pay for the internet service and we should shoot for starting this on the 15th. Not once has anybody said nope that isn’t a good idea. Then on the 14th I get back my edited letter that requires H to fork over 50 bucks a month for MTA DSL: 512kb up/512kb down. You know, I used to hate specs, then I hated contracts, now I really really hate being middle management. I’m thinking that Scotch is in my immediate near future. Have a good party

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: BOSS .3 to G-Daddy CC: BOSS .2 and BOSS.5 Friday, January 14, 2005 11:33 AM Subject: H - Work At Home Sorry, I forgot the attachment again. BOSS.2. called in and we discussed this arrangement. He has spoken with BP&K. There are no ADA issues. We are free to make any arrangements we wish along these lines. He suggested I soften the letter's tone somewhat, so I did that. Here it is. (Attachement Yada yada) HR, please print this one on letterhead so I can sign it before I leave at noon today. Thanks everyone. Regards,

Whew what is going on with me?

First post in a long time I'm not really focused on anything. So I'll ramble about a lot of stuff going on. First I'm sorry a lot of these sites get way to personnel. G-Daddy ain't going to list a lot of poetry and crap. (OK may be just a short one). Next I was invited to join a group...hmmm nope it wasn't my type...looked like a lot of kewl folks but I'll pass. The #1 son (Primo)... is in Hawaii pretty proud G-Daddy. His cat is NOT cool with it though. #2 son (Segundo) stopped by yesterday to feed said cat. I love my sons, two of the only three good things from my marriage. OK here is the poem.

I love my Dad
I love my kitchen, my pots and pans
I can go from collard greens to shrimp scampi
Hell, don't even say stir-fry
Snow peas with tofu, that ain't shit
I know my sweet potato pie is weak,
But, big sis, Cynthia makes those.
Grill? Yo..don't talk to me bout the grill
I can burn. Steaks, chicken, pork shoulder with mopping sauce.
Pops hooked me up with a grill long time ago
But, pops still holds out.
No gumbo, nor red meat rub
I'll get those one day
I love my Dad

Final note....Rhinny is on another meth runner... users use. A real serious demon in inside a very nice woman. Next post will be the brief summary on the Tom sisters.

LaRhinda

I can't believe it, I had an excellent day with LaRhinda we went to all the second hand stores from Anchorage to Eagle River and had a blast and then we had dinner at my favorite Mexican food place in Anchorage, Mexico in Alaska. It was a very cool, true friendship, fun and very nice, I enjoyed myself.The really cool thing was I dropped her off at home, we didn't have a lot to drink and she didn't go out and start a runner. I know I'm not gonna help her beat her demons or anything like that, I am not that naive, but the important thing was that bad past cycle of us going out having fun drinking and dancing , then her wanting to use was not there. Good, I don't want to make us going out associated with that cycle.

Music, yes it is Kiddie Rap I got at Value Village. Jump Jump Ya'll

Some random stuff

Today was rather interesting, I had a good conversation with my ex-wife. Unbelievable it is amazing how sending your firstborn to college allows one to talk with someone you hate. yeah the dude is outta here tomorrow. translation my empty nest party is bout to happen baby. What else, the power was out when I got home weird weather that it is 40° outside in Anchorage Alaska in January. It takes some pretty stupid assholes not to believe in global warming. I fired up the generator "Let there be Light" I was God for a short period of time. Haven't used that thing since Y2K. See what happens when nerds get old, no xfer switch so I backfed through the HBO. kickin..OK I have procrastinated long enough, it is time to get the WVO project off the ground. I need to make sure I don't get into the retentive crap that always boggs me down. Step number one is the feed stock survey. Calling places from used oils. More on that later. The word for 2005 WVO and my diesel VW Passat.

My Lil Corporate Chronicles

OK , here is the 2005 update on my career. Well , I was not offered enough shares to become a principal I will be about 75 shares shy. Also the end of year bonus was not enough money to pay off my debts and jump ship . Alas it looks like I'm hanging around this job for another year. As I said earlier we have a COO , and we're about to reorganize the department. That's going cruel but the outcome is going to be a little bit more work and I'm not quite sure it solves anything it just looks good on paper and kind of to makes choices that were difficult to do. The political hot spot is what to do with the old department head, I think I have successfully stayed a step back and strengthened my position as the number two person in the department. I have also cemented my position as the person that is in charge of all of the mechanical designed projects originate in the Fairbanks office. I still need to do some work in developing a true self sufficient mechanical department in Fairbanks but, perhaps that'll be perfect for this next year . The G-Daddy. 2005 corporate project

LaRhinda

Kind of lame because I don't think anyone cares, haven't had anybody, read or comment on this site, but yet again I haven't told anybody about it either.

After Christmas took LaRhinda and her boss out for dinner. It was a good time however, we had too many glasses of wine. After dinner we ditched her boss and went dancing at Blues Central. That was cool to but later she wanted to pick up some dope, so I dropped her off at a Spenard trailer and she was gone running for about three days. Her boss called me looking for her he was unhappy there. This is truly penis thinking on my part and it is nice to offer friendship to cool people, but when the demon takes over she can't control it. Old rule, I know it well, users use, players play. Simple as that. A wolf will act like a wolf when he is surrounded by a herd of sheep.