My Brother Bubba

Hello all

Yeah it has been along time since my last post and most of the time has been devoted to south pacific fun with the exception of the last three weeks. That is because I found out that my younger brother is dying. Get this, he has advanced cancer. A melanoma from a lesion on the sole of his foot spread into his lymph nodes and now it is at "stage 4" whatever that means. Can you image a black man, living in Seattle, getting skin cancer on the bottom of his foot? People get webbed feet in Seattle not skin cancer. As the cancer specialist said "hmmm this is extremely rare". He just turned forty. The doctors gave 6 months to possible 5 year time frame but I don't see him lasting longer than a year. Things seem to be deteriorating pretty fast while I was there.

So last week, I flew to Seattle and spent time with him. He was a blast, in good spirits and very accepting of his fate. At first I was angry because he was not going for life but my brother has always been easy going and very far from the coffee generation overachiever. Radiation and surgery are out of the question and with a 1 in seven chemo chance he said the hell with it, " I already feel sick why make myself miserable also". I know, I know, I tried the homeopathic/alternative medicine speech. Christ you can only lead a horse to water. I guess trying to beat 1:7 odds on a terminal illness would be too much work for him. More effort than he has ever put out in his life on anything but; he is the only person that can do it. We, meaning family, can all help him but he needs to be mentally there first and he isn't yet with time rapidly running out. That would be called acceptance.

My eldest sister Lorraine flew into Seattle, from Atlanta two days earlier. Big sis was cool and matriarchal, at first I was annoyed but man she was in charge and that helped ground me a bit. Mom and Dad flew down from Alaska two days after me. Each of us stayed for about a week, honestly the staggered family arrival and departure worked out pretty good. We had some fun, and ate good food, Salumi's downtown Seattle was great and 13 Coins late night is a SeaTac must for me.

Emotionally how am I? Hell, I don't know. Yes I'm sad, and sometimes I cry, but honestly getting divorced was more gut wrenching. Way lots more anger, hate and heartbreak. I'm mostly sad and reflective. I left a lot of stress and stuff to escape out here and not learn any more lessons in life for awhile. Sigh I guess life really includes all of the tragedy, pain, heartache, and joy (emotional stuff) along with adventures.

I love my Brother ..